Lavender Nights — Chapter Three

SASHA

My house was quaint, yet it exuded and alerted one to the finer things in life, with vines of greenery covering the windows, and pink petunias dancing in the front yard. It was my haven. It was cold most of the time, my greatest memories were the peaceful feeling of sitting on the windowsill drinking a hot cup of coffee watching the natural world a single pant away. I liked to watch the snow drop down preciously, when it came down in soft flurries, it was the only time snow felt mystic. But today walking into my humble abode it ignited nothing of the sort, for the first time in my thirty one years of living I was allowing another human in. The very idea of my space invaded was terrorizing, the peace I perfected would be mixed with something unconscionable, awkward pauses and demure glances. My mother always taught me learning how to survive alone was a skill well sought out, something a lot of people never mastered. I became a pro; I was too good at it because I’d survived alone for thirty one years in a job made for talking and in a world made for loving. Being a corporate lawyer demanded me to make connections, but those connections fell short, it was in and out the office and straight back home. I never allowed myself to get attached even when I saw the terracotta felt kitten every Sunday by my door begging for affection. It was an isolated existence, but loneliness loved me…